This society makes you think that everything is makeable. That we can become anything and everything if we just work hard enough. That everyone is special and has potential to become the greatest thing they’ll ever want to be.

I just want to be mediocre. I consider my depression to be very mediocre and textbook with textbook remedies and treatments. That gives me peace and hope.

On the other hand I have long felt that this depression has kept me back from reaching my full potential. That the scars of my past have broken me too much to ever be great or do big things. And that I’m wasting my life not doing the big things.

But maybe I don’t have to. Maybe it is ok to be happy with the small little thing and just be mediocre. And stop fighting to do the big things. I mean, what are those big things even for?