Getting in the right

What is the right way to live with depression? What is the right way to live to begin with?

My biggest obstacle to containing my depressive episodes is discipline and keeping up my routines that keep the episodes in check. So I have to make workarounds:

  1. I have to take Imipramine 10 mg 3 times a day. This would translate to 1 in the morning, 1 in the afternoon and 1 in the evening. The one in the afternoon is tricky for me because I’m usually at work or on the go and I will forget. So I take 1 in the morning and 2 in the evening. Not ideal, but it works. Note: I have taken Citalopram (SSRI) before this, but I prefer the Imiprimane (TCA) because I can handle the side-effects better with the Imipramine. But that differs for everyone.

  2. I show up. I just show up. That’s all I have to do at anytime and anything more is a bonus. Don’t feel like anything: I get up and go to work and don’t feel like anything over there. Or anywhere else I have to be

  3. I exercise with a personal trainer. I never kept up a sport longer than 3 months. I’ve been excercising for a year now. It works because 1) i don’t have to think about what I will have to do, my trainer does that for me. All I have to do is show up and I’m pretty good at showing up, 2) I actually feel guilty if I blow him off, 3) he’s a good teacher and he can focus on teaching just me. I have learnt a lot of awesome moves and I feel really proud. I’m convinced he does too.

  4. Staying of off alcohol has been easy. Training 4 times a week makes a good excuse in social gathering. I do allow alcohol in food. Onionsoup without wine is a no go. Having a boyfriend that doesn’t drink that much helps too.

  5. Writing things off in my little pink book. I have pages with just LET IT GO in my book. It took me 4 years to fill the first book. I’m now in my second and it’s almost full in 1 year. I just bought a bigger book so I can write LET IT GO bigger and better.

  6. At least 1 conversation with my therapist (psychologist) every 2 months. If I had relapse I make it 1 month. He keeps me in check and asks me the right questions to recognize a relapse even if I didn’t know I had 1. I also feel bad if I show up and haven’t done anything to get through a depressive episode and when I know an appointment is coming up, I do all my interventions in turbo

  7. I don’t apologize anymore. I have rapid cycling which means my mood changes a lot. When I have an episode I tend to lash out in anger to my environment. It happens, I’ve been working on it for 5 years. It has gotten better. It comes with the package. If my environment can’t appreciate that (a lot of people couldn’t) than it’s probably not for me. It’s good for my environment to call me on my responsibilities and my health is one of them, but nobody should make me feel guilty or bad for the symptoms of my disease.

  8. Say no after 7 pm. I have to sleep. This doesn’t always happen I have to be honest. But it should.

  9. Show up for doctor appointments (psychiatrist). This is my indicator of how serious I’m taking my illness. If I don’t go, I’m probably on a slippery slope into a depression

Right now keeping up the workarounds feels like a full-time job and since I actually have a job, this is overtime and it’s exhausting. But it makes the moments I’m not exhausted worth it.

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